Learning to Fly aka Becoming more Dutch

Yesterday I did both, at the same time.

It was about 9:50am in the morning, and I was cruising on my bike to a meeting. It is true to say that I was riding faster than normal, certainly less than the slowest of Tour de France standards, even if you compare it to that one guy who wasn’t taking drugs.

Anyway, I crossed the road in front of the Museumplein (a place often swarming in tourists), turned right and began to pick up pace. I caught out my left eye one of these tourist (you get to know what they look like pretty quickly) people wearing all white, but didn’t think much of it. I smoothly moved my bike out to overtake another rider and then delicately moved it back onto my side of the bike lane. It was than that I saw the tourist again.

She seemed to be turning in my direction, and I think its at this point that I make my fatal mistake. I somehow forgot to consider the fact that tourists are dangerous. Rather than continuing to turn into her lane on the bike path, she instead looked away from me, almost as if she were pretending she couldn’t see me, in the process lining her bike up as if she were the Berlin wall stopping me from getting into West Germany.

It’s at roughly this point that the pain started. I had no time even to brake, to ring the bell, to yell “Ummm, excuse me mevrouw, but could you please watch where the hell you are going”, nope, all I could do was brace myself. What followed was in all likelihood the biggest bike crash in Dutch history, and that is really saying something. My thoughts from this point on can be summarised as follows:

“She really has no idea I’m here”
“There is only very small chance that this is not going to happen”
“Impact in T minus 0.000003 seconds”
“Ouch”
Song plays “Because I’m learning to fly but I aint got wings, Comin down is the hardest thing”….

And it was, there was a bit of a blur which lasted a shuddering few portions of a second, then there was that incredible feeling of “Well, that didn’t hurt as much as I thought it would”, at this point I began wiggling toes, elbows, checking for blood. This whole process however was rudely interrupted by the realisation that I was lying, bike on top of me, in the middle of the road. Quick thinking led to the decision to postpone the checks in favour of a rapid retreat to safe ground.

Scraping my bike up, I made my way toward the crowd, who suddenly made me feel a lot worse because each face had this look of absolute horror. It reminded me of the time I put that ski-lift lollipop thingy on backward at Corcheval, only to be thrown through the air at great speed, upon landing I looked back at Adam and Scott and found they were not laughing, only then did it start to hurt.

It being my first crash in Holland, I wasn’t really all that sure what to do. I was stunned. I had a thousand people talking to me in Dutch, I can only presume saying “Are you ok?”, and I had the women whom I had overtaken telling, well yelling, at me that the tourist was definitely on our side of the bike path (she narrowly missed a similar fate to me) and that I was certainly in the right. Despite this the pain continued.  

Looking up, I saw the tourist, whose relaxed ride through Amsterdam had been completely transformed, standing and appearing to be generally ok. Her bike was even upright, and unlike mine, had front wheel and handle bars still pointing in the same direction. She was surrounded by an even larger crowd, probably due to the fact that she didn’t end up in the middle of the road, and was probably understanding less than I was. I asked her a number of times if she was ok, each time she said she was, and she didn’t seem to be anything more than shocked. Her face however was still frozen in the same expression I’d seen just as my waist passed my handlebars and found a moment to briefly look back.

I was really lucky. No one wears helmets in Amsterdam, my head did not hit anything (though, I’m not sure you always remember such an event, its not sore at any rate), my phone was in the other pocket and survived, my wallet seemed to spread the impact evenly on my hip. Really, what hurt the most was the minor damage to my computer, which was on my back at the time, and of course the fact that I will never actually get to see the whole thing in slow motion.

After dusting myself off, I rode off on my trusty steed, making some pretty significant steering adjustments to ensure I didn’t ride in circles, and actually made it to my meeting on time, just with slightly messier hair.

I’m just that little bit more Dutch today. 

Technorati tags: Bike Crash, Amsterdam, Bike, Tourist, Accident

Know what you wear

Cameron Diaz thinks Communism is cool:

Actress Cameron Diaz has apologised for carrying a bag in Peru which featured a political slogan likely to be considered offensive by local people.

The Shrek star visited the historical Machu Picchu site with a green bag which had a red star and the words “serve the people” printed in Chinese.

 

This is something I often think about. I’m constantly left wondering if that super cool dufus over there actually knows what C.C.C.P. stands for. Or if that urban anti-globalisation protestor really understands the Che Guevara approach to “politics”. Or if that bloke wearing the ray-bans and German army shirt simply likes the colours or is trying to say something deeper.

For me personally, it even goes so far as avoiding “camo”, that and the fact that I rarely need to hide in the bushes during day to day life. I especially dislike it on kids, with it leaving me with the same feeling as seeing them run around with toy guns.

In the end this comes down to simply having some sensitivity to the very real ideologies that these symbols represent. They are NOT fashion statements, they mean something, they represent something.

To some people the sign on Camerons bag is as hurtful as the the swastika is. Lets hope the coolest kids don’t suddenly consider that “In Vogue”.

BBC NEWS | Entertainment | Diaz apologises for Maoist slogan

Technorati tags: Cameron Diaz, Fashion, Peru, Symbols, Politics

Rats discover the "Golden Rule"

“Do unto others as you would have others do unto you”

In the article “Rats influenced by the kindness of strangers” – New Scientist researchers discover evidence that suggests rats have discovered the “Golden  Rule“.

Claudia Rutte and Michael Taborsky of the University of Berne, Switzerland, trained rats to pull a lever that released food for their partner in the next cage. If the rats subsequently received snacks released by lever-pulling strangers in neighbouring cages, they were more likely to lever-pull and so feed another unfamiliar rat in the future. In other words, the rats became altruistic in response to a general level of cooperation in the population.

Now, as soon as they learn to write they can get started on their own set of commandments. 

Interestingly the article starts off by saying:

In doing so, they provide the first evidence of an unusual form of altruism that appears to violate evolutionary theory.

I don’t really follow how this result violates evolutionary theory. If a rat does something altruistic then it knows that it increases its chances of becoming a recipient of altruism. This in turn increases its chances of survival. Perhaps we could clear this up a little by making a small change to evolutionary theory, I’m sure Darwin would be cool with it. Lets add “Survival of the kindest”.

Humans, like you and me, have learnt exactly the same lesson, which is why the “Golden Rule” is not limited to any single culture or religion, it has emerged universally. You can also see it in phrases like “Pay it forward” and “What goes around, comes around!” and interesting concepts like “Karma”.

I’m sure there are many, many more, in different languages and different cultures. Anyone have any to contribute?

Technorati tags: Golden Rule, Evolution

Most days I wonder how it can be, today I just laughed…

First I read this, a little late I know, I had it filed for a quiet Sunday afternoon read:

BBC NEWS | Europe | Vatican’s ‘driving commandments’
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/europe/6768395.stm

I tracked down an official translation here:

In any case, with the request for motorists to exercise virtue, we have drawn up a special “decalogue” for them, in analogy with the Lord’s Ten Commandments. These are stated here below, as indications, considering that they may also be formulated differently.

 

I. You shall not kill.

II. The road shall be for you a means of communion between people and not of mortal harm.

III. Courtesy, uprightness and prudence will help you deal with unforeseen events.

IV. Be charitable and help your neighbour in need, especially victims of accidents.

V. Cars shall not be for you an expression of power and domination, and an occasion of sin.

VI. Charitably convince the young and not so young not to drive when they are not in a fitting condition to do so.

VII. Support the families of accident victims.

VIII. Bring guilty motorists and their victims together, at the appropriate time, so that they can undergo the liberating experience of forgiveness.

IX. On the road, protect the more vulnerable party.

X. Feel responsible towards others.

Firstly, this is deadly serious. In some ways this is actually better than the original 10 commandments, at least these are all concerned with the well being of people, instead of being about god himself (3-4 of the original 10 are). I think number 9 is my favourite, I can just imagine all these well meaning Catholic 4-wheel drives gathering around a Smartcar to ensure the 16 wheelers are kept at bay. I’m not convinced about number 10, it feels a little like it’s just making up the numbers, seriously, its not really all that specific to driving now is it?

But then, it got better, I had also filed this on away for Sunday reading:

A fatwa free-for-all in the Islamic world – International Herald Tribune
http://www.iht.com/articles/2007/06/11/news/fatwa.php

First came the breast-feeding fatwa: It declared that the Islamic restriction on unmarried men and women being together could be lifted at work if the woman breast-fed her male colleagues five times. Then came the urine fatwa: It said that drinking the urine of the Prophet Muhammad was deemed a blessing.

Now, I’m going to have to look this up, but I think at Microsoft this would have been called a HR violation. So while it might be ok in the eyes of Allah, I think being fired, likely well before the fifth sip, would probably mean this is not really going to solve the problem.

The whole article is a pretty good read, seems there is an escalating “arms race” concerning the issuing of Fatwas, I’m all in favour if it continues to produce cracking guidance like this. Sadly, as the article only touches upon later, there is another side that is not so funny.